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Saturday, June 07, 2008
there are five stages of grief. if we get stuck in one stage or the other, the process of grieving is not complete, and cannot be complete. thus there will be no healing. a person must go through the five stages to be well again, to heal. not everyone goes through the stages at the same time. it is different for each person. you cannot force a person through the stages, they have to go at their own pace, and you may go one step forward then take two steps backward, but this is all part of the process, and individual to each person. But, as stressed, all five stages must be completed for healing to occur. 1) denial-"this can't be happening to me", if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. no crying. not accepting or even acknowledging the loss. 2) anger-"why me?", for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving. 3) bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. begging, wishing, praying for them to come back. 4) depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. feeling lack of control, feeling numb. perhaps feeling suicidal. 5) acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. you have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. realization that the person is gone that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. our goals turn toward personal growth. stay with fond memories of person. am still stuck at 4. :( |